Dilemas of a Lawyer Mum

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Dilemas of a Lawyer Mum

Mothering Sunday prompted me to reflect on how much my life has changed as a result of motherhood. The dilemma many women lawyers face is how do you do a good job and manage the conflicting demands of being a mum and a lawyer? Many mothers feel that they are at times quite literally being torn in half, and struggle with the guilt as well as the frustration of our generation of career women. Whilst we may have it all we also seem to have to do it all!

Hitting my midlife crisis bang on 40, I remember saying out loud there must be more to life than work and kids! My turning point came on one particular Sunday afternoon as a single mum with 7-year-old twin boys vying for attention. I had work to do. I caught myself quite literally screaming at them to shut up, and go to their rooms so I could get on with my work. It suddenly struck me that I did not want my children’s memories of me to be as a stressed out workaholic. Something had to give.

I rethought my career and what I wanted. I made my choice and went part time, (which brought its own challenges of maintaining my visibility and credibility, successfully avoiding the “she is only playing at it” reputation which afflicts the image of some part timers however hard they work)

Fast forward to today my boys are now 16 years of age and facing their GSCE year. Career wise I have changed direction and now run my own Personal Development Consultancy Develop4choice (www.develop4choice.co.uk) – of which Leading Women Lawyers is part.

My working pattern is such that when I am not out training / coaching clients I am working from home. School holidays, which I always panicked about because of lack of childcare, have sorted themselves out. I rarely take on work in the school holidays and the children are more interested in going out with their friends than sitting home with Mum.

Tips for Success

Do what is right and congruent for you - don’t worry what everyone else thinks or says.
Introduce your child to your work place and keep up regular visits. Taking my twins into the office from an early age paid dividends. It gave them security in knowing where mummy was and who she was with. It gave those I worked with an insight into my world as a lawyer mum. The boys were no longer just a figment of my imagination but real little people. There were occasions when I was required to go into the office on my days off. If no child care was available I took them with me and popped them in front of a video whilst I held a meeting.
Stop trying to be perfect. All that will happen is that you will burn yourself out.
Take a long term view of your career. Many people now are choosing to build a portfolio career so that they have the freedom and a flexible working pattern.

Until next time and best wishes

Jane Wintringham

Leading Women Lawyers, Develop4choice, 20 Thornfield Road, West Park, Leeds LS16 5AR, United Kingdom
Tel 0113 305 3604 | Email: info@leadingwomenlawyers.co.uk